there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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