Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
