My hand turned me down
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
