Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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