I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
