I didn't shave. On purpose
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
