then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize