i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
