Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
