So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
