just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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