I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize