I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize