your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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