There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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