my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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