Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
