did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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