they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
