I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
