mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
