I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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