woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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