A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize