So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize