So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize