We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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