After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
