So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
