i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
