She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dignity is for republicans.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
