brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
