Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
