Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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