my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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