Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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