it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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