I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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