I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
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obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
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My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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