the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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