I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
