you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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