So drunk, too bad you don't want this
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i think im in europe. pls send help
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
