is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
