Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
