so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
