Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
