Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
