Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
