i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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