It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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