I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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