I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
