He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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